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  • Nintendo Profits 9 Million This Quarter, Future Still Dubious

    It’s been splashed across all the news channels; Nintendo Is Red No More: $350 Million Profit On Back Of Wii U Sales, Nintendo Ekes Out $9M Profit As Wii U Sales Cross 10M To Date, and Nintendo turns its first annual...


  • Capcom to Invest $78 Million in Research and Development

    San Mateo, CA – Capcom has announced in its latest investor meeting that it will invest $78 Million in Research and Development. This announcement has come as a surprise to many, as several pundits had speculated that Capcom would never...


  • How the Internet Archive created the Sim Ant Exterminator

    Ashtabula, OH- One day Cornelius Mcgee was searching for free MS Dos games and was delighted to stumble upon the Internet Archive. He spent several hours emulating many of his childhood favorites such as Prehistorik 2, Card Sharks, and Snipes....


  • Michael Jackson the Experience Free DLC was Eaten

    San Francisco, CA – Piers Piper was the lucky winner of Ubisoft’s latest DLC sweepstakes. Unfortunately, he wasn’t aware of the delivery of the DLC giveaway. Ubisoft partnered with Frito-Lay, the potato chip conglomerate that creates the deliciousness that is Doritos,...


  • School System’s Beloved Atari 5200 is Kaput

    Sheboygan Falls, WI – The Sheboygan Falls High School is relieved that it is currently the summer break. The source of their bell tone system has failed to work properly for the past couple of days and are at a...


  • The Kohlrabi’s E3 Predictions, Because, Why Not?

    The Kohlrabi staff predicted what they hope will be the best of E3 2015 in a brand new top 10. 1. Konami shows up and confirms they pulled biggest prank upon the world. C-mon delisting themselves from the NYSE? We all had...