Brooklyn, NY – Here in the heart of New York resides some of the world’s hardest working men and women, running themselves ragged and spending months—or sometimes even years—away from their friends and families. Why though? These professional masons might want the average person to think they are suffering through the woes of minimum wage, making it paycheck to paycheck, but that is because these skilled builders are actually making a fortune in a little known industry.
Oscar Delgado has been working on building fortresses, mansions, and castles for some of the multi-verses most well-known villains since 1991, and he is nearing retirement at age forty, ready to buy his own mansion soon.
“Yeah, it’s tough work and pretty dangerous and all, but like I tell my mother-in-law, it pays well and not many other people can say they have worked under Dr. Wily and King Koopa.” Delgado continued, talking speaking on his longest client, the Mushroom Kingdom’s Bowser. “The guy usually keeps it to traditional castles and strongholds with the occasional airship, but he has recently been asking us to work outside of the Mushroom Kingdom, which means a higher pay rate, but lately the big green has been asking for crazier stuff like trains and that giant casino tower.” Oscar laughed, “he didn’t tell us he was going to be turning into a giant cat and climbing all over it though.”
Oscar and his crew have had their setbacks of course, losing one member to a violent piranha plant, and another worker to a thwomp.
“Yeah, after the thwomp accident it was hard to find skilled employees for a bit, but then our main client had seven kids and started wanting different castles, not just copies of the first one we built with some slight variations like usual. Now I hear Big B has another kid, a Bowser Jr., though I’ve never met the mother or anything—what I mean is: more evil munchkins means a need for more castles, you know? So my kids’ll be going to college and everything. They won’t have to build forts for villainous bastards like their old man.”
Others on the crew were not as willing to comment. It is not hard to see why they want their work to remain quiet. Not just because of the money, but not many people would understand why the decision to work for world-conquerors comes so easily. Most of them are loaded beyond belief.
One thing is certain: until King Koopa and others like him are victorious, they will continue to need crews like Oscar’s to keep building these colossal deathtraps and devious set pieces.