Fruit Ninja is Running Out of Fruit

Fruit Ninja is Running Out of Fruit
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Brisbane, Australia – Halfbrick Studios announced that they are running out of fruit for their hit game, Fruit Ninja, and it may affect subsequent releases and updates. A studio representative let The Kohlrabi know that they had anticipated that this day would come, but had hoped it would have been farther into the future.

John Guerrieri, the Halfbrick studio representative, explained to The Kohlrabi that, Fruit Ninja owes its success to their ability to successfully create authentic digital fruit slicing. The studio was able to perfectly simulate how it would feel to slice fruit as if your finger was a katana. They were able to do so by using proprietary hyper speed technology that tracks the user’s movements, then up-links the data to the Halfbrick’s robot fruit slicers. The robots would slice fruit instantly as the command is given, thus creating the realistic force feedback of slicing fruit. The only problem was the Fruit Ninja team did not think of a way to scale the technology for sudden worldwide consumption.

approximation of Fruit Ninja robot from deviant art

Artist rendering of described Halfbrick Fruit Ninja robots.

The Kohlrabi learned that the Halfbrick studios team made an attempt to switch all Fruit Ninja games to holographic fruit rather than authentic fruit. Halfbrick rolled out updates to all variations of Fruit Ninja slowly. This update would intermingle holographic fruit with authentic fruit. When fruit prices had soared, Halfbrick asked the Fruit Ninja team to exclusively use holographic fruit.

Fruit Ninja takes a nose dive

Arrow 1: Initial update. Arrow 2: WTF did we do!? Arrow 3: Full restoration of authentic fruit.

The decision proved disastrous. Discovering the sharp drop in app ranking, the Fruit Ninja team reversed course.

John from the studio would tell the Kohlrabi that the Fruit Ninja team feared that they would have to remove the game from the Google Play and iTunes stores. Consequently, the Fruit Ninja team locked themselves in their office for several days in order to solve the fruit predicament. John said around day four of sleep deprivation and caffeine burnout; someone blurted out; “If only we could find someone to supply us with a cheap supply of fruit, like coffee or candy!” Instantly, said Mr. Guerrieri, it was a communal “how could we have been so dumb” moment.

halfbrick saved a butt load

“Halfbrick saved a butt load in fruit costs when we had our partnership with Skittles” explained John Guerrieri.

While concluding the day with the Fruit Ninja representative, he was perceived as jovial about the studio’s current situation. He said that they nearly have inked a deal to dispose of the Right Twix from the Left Twix factory.

“We do realize that we may be bleeding into some candy crushing game territory, but whatevs; we were here first.” said John Guerrieri.