New Kingdom Hearts Project, “Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2” Announced

New Kingdom Hearts Project, “Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2” Announced
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During an interview held while waiting in an elevator, the self-proclaimed “best-informed” shoe-shiner of Square Enix headquarters informed The Kohlrabi that Square Enix is working on yet another new Kingdom Hearts game, Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2.

“It’s going to be a collection of Kingdom Hearts 1.5 and Kingdom Hearts 2.5, but with slightly more polished graphics,” He revealed. He then continued, “About a year after that, there’s going to be a Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2 ReMIX game as well. It’s going to be an HD remake of Kingdom Hearts 2.8 and Kingdom Hearts .2, but with an additional deleted scene. So now there will be about 30 minutes of new content to get everyone excited since they’ve been waiting more than a decade. I think it’s a great business plan.”

We asked if there were any other plans for additional Kingdom Hearts related content that Square Enix may in store. He replied, “In addition to the games I just mentioned, there also will be Kingdom Hearts Re: 2/358.2 Final Mix which will be an HD release of Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2 and Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2 ReMIX. A pinball machine type game reveals a brand new three-minute prologue to Kingdom Hearts 3 after reaching a certain score is in the works, as well. We’re thinking of calling it Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sweep. Of course, about a year after Birth by Sweep is out, we’ll be re-releasing the prologue with Kingdom Hearts Re: 2/358.2 Final Mix. That will be called Kingdom Hearts Re:2/358.2 Coded Final Mix. Finally, we’re also working on a game that will be exclusive to Japanese smart watches. It’s called Kingdom Hearts Gain of Memories. It’ll be an HD summary game of all the Kingdom Hearts games thus far, which we’ll use to segway into Kingdom Hearts 3.”

The Kohlrabi used this as an opportunity and asked him about how Kingdom Hearts 3 was coming along. “We’re working on it. Please understand, between Kingdom Hearts 2.8, Kingdom Hearts .2, Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2, Kingdom Hearts 2/358.2 ReMIX, Kingdom Hearts Re: 2/358.2 Final Mix, Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sweep, Kingdom Hearts Re:2/358.2 Coded Final Mix , and Kingdom Hearts Gain of Memories it’s really hard for us to find the time and resources to continue dedicated work to properly complete Kingdom Hearts 3.”