Articles Posted in the " Mario " Category

  • The Juice: Mario Mario Showed Up on a Ford Focus

    [Rochelle was exiting The Kohlrabi offices. Rochelle is seen fumbling with the myriad of office keys in a sad attempt to close up the office after a socially acceptable day’s work. She makes her way to the parking lot, her head...


  • Mario Is Unemployable

    Redwood City, CA– It turns out Nintendo has been trying to find Mario steady work for quite some time. Nintendo has attempted to train the plucky man in just about every career imaginable, and yet he continues to be pink...


  • Super Mario Maker the Interdimensional Transporter

    Odd reports have been trickling into The Kohlrabi, and the stories are similar, yet the experience each person describes has varied. They all originate while playing Nintendo’s Mario Maker and this had our reporters wondering if the use of LSD...


  • The Juice: Luigi Mario AKA Player 2

    [After the cringe-worthy, yet super entertaining debacle that was Rochelle’s previous interview with Lonk Smoth, Rochelle reached back out to Nintendo to provide feedback. The two were on the phone for four hours of tearful arguing and incoherent babbling between Rochelle...


  • Donkey Kong in the Seedy Arcade

    I feel like I have been here for days, funneling through an alternate universal expanse provided me these cartridges of grey. I’m happy to say, I’m on the move again today. My whereabouts unknown, no place really calls me home....


  • Store Owner Analyzes the Smash Bros Series

    The Kohlrabi scored an exclusive interview with a local game store owner, Jim Scudder, and self-proclaimed “Smash Expert”, revealed to us that Ness, the baseball bat wielding Smasher, original to the Super Smash Bros series. Jim told us, “Ness from...