Erie, IN – A phenomenon unheard of in scale, has rallied many young gamers. They have gone to extreme lengths to get a download code for the new Super Smash Bros 3DS demo. Captain Johnathan W. Williams of the Erie Police Department told locals that “Gamers will go into a frenzy over any mention of a download code for the demo, to the point of mob violence.”Across Erie, several mobs of gamers were found shuffling towards any mention of a Smash Bros code and would continue swarm-asking the victim incessantly. This terrifying public-mob query didn’t stop until the mass discovered there was no code to consumed. They would then move onto the next general direction, after overhearing anything resembling “Smash Bros Code,” to continue their pleading and begging.
One report states that a woman was trampled severely at the local Barnes and Noble. Gamers overheard the end of her conversation declaring she had picked up the new DaVinci Code book. “They showed up from nowhere! When I told my sister on the phone I had the [DaVinci] Code book, POOF! Here they are in my face! They wouldn’t shut up about some free code!? What free code? I’d never seen them before, and before I knew it they were gone.” – Dolores Mayweather, Erie local.
The frenzied gamer mob can be identified by their shambling walk and their moans for “codes…coooooodes.” Citizens are encouraged not to mention having any of the extra download codes available for fear of summoning the mobs upon them.
“The gamer mobs, also known as, Smashers, will remain relatively timid until they have perceived a free Super Smash Bros 3DS demo code is in the vicinity. We advise all precaution when around the Smashers” – Captain Jonathan W Willaims.
The police describe the gamers as nearly mindless. The gamer mob ignores all requests to stop until they are satisfied no codes are available. If the victim should have codes to give, even providing the group the codes will do no good, as the remaining mob of gamers will hammer the victim relentlessly about more free codes.
The police have been inundated with calls about these mobs and are strained to react all of them. “This is worse than what those kids did for a Klondike bar a few years back,” Captain Williams added tiredly.